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Frequently Asked Questions!
Jennifer and Tom
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How Much Do You Charge?
Unfortunately, this is one of the first questions I get asked. In our consumer oriented society we often want to comparison shop - even when it comes to a wedding ceremony! I believe I offer couples the very best and most professional service in the area. The following is what I receive for my services:
- $550-1,000 for premarital education, rehearsal and ceremony (depends upon which premarital education program)
- $250 for a ceremony and a rehearsal
- $150 for a ceremony with no rehearsal
Think about this - You could still get married if your wedding cake was not delivered. What would happen if the minister did not show up?? Couples often spend more money on their wedding cake than they do preparing for their marriage and having their ceremony professionally conducted!
How Do We Actually Give You Our Offering?
The easist and most convenient way now is to use PayPal (see below). You can use PayPal for your deposit and for final payment. For those not using PayPal, I suggest placing the offering in the envelope with the marriage license and giving it to me at the rehearsal (if there is one). That way they have two less things to worry about on your wedding day.
Do you accept credit cards?
Yes, by using PayPal couples can pay for services using your MasterCard or Visa. NOTE: You no longer required to be a PayPal member in order to use the service. You may now opt to become or member or merely make your payment. However, joining PayPal is an extremely easy and safe process. Just click on the logo below to get started. Please do not hesitate to ask me about this service.
Do you require premarital counseling?
I do not "require" premarital counseling. However, I strongly suggest that couples get some sort of marital guidance (from me or someone else).
In addition to being a minister I am licensed by the state of Texas
as a counselor (LPC & LCDC) and am a pastoral counselor. Another huge benefit
of premarital counseling is that we will all know one another much better if we have spent time together through
the four to ten sessions. As a member of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education, and as a licensed counselor, it is my hope that all couples understand how premarital education is crucial to getting your marriage off to a good start and pays positive dividends in your future.
Couples will say, "We don't have time," or "We don't need counseling because our love will see us through," or something similar. These are wonderful sentiments but, if I may be frank, VERY naïve. Your marriage will require dedication and
work. Our time together (four to ten one-hour sessions) will provide you some insight
as to what will lay ahead of you in marriage. People spend more time preparing for their driver's license than for their marriage license. I believe something is wrong with that scenario.
SAVE
Now, going through premarital education will not only help save your marriage - it will save you money. Texas marriage licenses are $71. For those who go through any of my premarital education programs you can save $60 off of that fee. I will give you a specific certificate for you to hand the County Clerk when applying for the license for your savings.
Please take a look at my premarital information (pdf format).
How do we reserve our wedding date with you?
First, CONTACT ME to see if your date and time is available. I'll then ask you to fill out a more formal
Wedding Information Form that may be downloaded or I will send you one via postal mail. This form does not obligate you or me but provides me with needed information. If you decide to use me as your wedding minister we will complete a Letter of Agreement. All of this information allows me to work with my schedule and prevent any misunderstandings. Both forms must be filled out completely and received by me before your date is reserved.
What if you cannot attend my rehearsal?
Ask any wedding coordinator or consultant and you will find it is not at all uncommon for the minister to be absent from the rehearsal. I try to attend as many rehearsals as possible. However, in the event another couple has already reserved my time for their rehearsal I will see if my wife's schedule will allow her to attend your rehearsal. If Gayle cannot attend, I'll do three things. - First, I will map out for you a complete wedding ceremony itinerary.
- Second, we will have an additional meeting in which we go over, line by line, what will occur for you on that special day.
- Finally, I will do whatever you need to feel comfortable.
What are your credentials?
Well, I’m glad you asked! I am by far the "best credentialed" wedding minister in the D/FW metroplex. My bachelor’s degree in History and Religion is from Texas Christian University, my seminary degrees (master's and doctoral) are from Vanderbilt University’s Divinity School and Meadville Lombard Theological School, and an additional doctorate in Education and Counseling is from the University of North Texas. I am a licensed counselor and duly credentialed to perform wedding ceremonies in the state of Texas and elsewhere. I also serve a Unitarian Universalist Church in Fort Worth. There is more information about that in the "beliefs" section of this website.
Why are credentials so important?
Well, believe it or not, it is extremely easy to become “ordained” and legally officiate weddings in Texas. One merely has to click a few buttons on the internet and all of the sudden he or she is "Reverend Thus and So" here to preside over your ceremony for cash! Don’t believe me? Just go to http://www.wcm.org . You can now have your best friend perform your wedding ceremony just like Joey from the television show “Friends.” Unfortunately, Joey did not do a very good job. Additionally, some states are questioning the legality of these weddings. Here's an article that might have you thinking twice about having a friend perform your ceremony.
To be quite honest this sort of makes me hot under the clerical collar! I spent years in a legitimate seminary studying Theology in order to serve others.
Just be aware that the majority of wedding ministers never attended seminary (ask to see their seminary diploma) and were ordained through a mail order ministry. If that is okay with you it is okay with me. Many of them, I am sure, do a fine job. However, if you are looking for a real seminary trained minister CONTACT ME!.
To check and see if an institution is genuinely accredited go to The Association of Theological Schools and click on "member schools." You can check my schools - Vanderbilt and Meadville.
What's this I hear about you writing a book?
That's right, to reach and assist couples far beyond the Fort Worth - Dallas - Denton metroplex I have written a book entitled Reverent Rituals: A Brief Wedding Guide. This book contains a great deal of information I have accumulated over my many years of helping couples get married. It is easily purchased on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. I hope you will find out more about the book by clicking on the book cover below.
The Book!
Must we meet with your first?
No. It seems that everyone's schedules are becoming more and more hectic. Many couples are now electing to handle everything through e-mail and postal mail. However, I leave this to your
judgment. I like to meet with couples in my home at a time in the evening that is most convenient.
The weekends are difficult for me to meet with couples because that is when the
majority of weddings occur. If you do not want (or cannot find time) to meet
prior to your ceremony, just fill out the two forms below and, if my schedule is clear, I will e-mail or telephone you to say that everything is in order and I will be at your wedding at the appointed time.
You will then be asked to either mail your deposit or use PayPal to send your
deposit or payment.
What will happen at our meeting if we choose to have one?
We will just have a casual conversation. It usually only lasts around 20 minutes and gives you an opportunity to ask me any questions you might have. It is very painless and generally takes place in my home on a weekday evening.
This is not a meeting where I "test" couples to determine whether or
not they should be united in marriage. It is really more of a "test"
to see if you like me well enough to be the one you invite to preside over your
nuptials. I'll also inform you of my premarital education options. Do remember that weekends are sometimes difficult for me to meet with couples because of my wedding schedule.
What if you are unavailable for our wedding date and time?
I have other ministers to whom I can refer. You can rest assured these ministers will be of highest quality and very professional. Please let me know if you do not have a good experience with a minister I recommend.
What kind of ceremonies do you perform?
I perform many different kinds of ceremonies. If you tell me what you need in the way of a ceremony I can often make sure you get what you desire. I will also send you several ceremonies via e-mail. I have performed traditional religious ceremonies, non-religious ceremonies, and a variety of special theme weddings.
I like to incorporate different faith traditions when couples desire or deem
appropriate. I want to say what you want to say and do what you want to do!
What time will you arrive at our ceremony?
I will arrive 30-45 minutes prior to the start of your ceremony. For rehearsals I generally arrive 5-10 minutes prior to the starting time. All of these times are based on your Wedding Information Form.
How are you different from other "wedding ministers"?
I suppose there are a few of reasons. First, I feel that couples truly want and deserve something more than a Justice of the Peace to preside over there wedding ceremony. Just because you do not belong to a church, or your regular minister is not available, does not mean you should not have a reverent wedding ceremony.
Second, I do not make my living from the weddings I perform. This can be construed as both good and bad for couples. It is good in that I do not have to perform six to eleven weddings every weekend in order to make my house payment. Because of this, I can spend more time with you. It is bad in that my church job does come first and must be given priority.
Finally, I am actually physically different. You may have read under my brief bio that I had cancer at the age of 13. This necessitated the amputation of my left arm. Because I look different from most folks it is sometimes very difficult for couples to see beyond the physical. Many times I have had couples in my home who I can tell cannot see beyond my physical disability. It is often better that those couples seek another minister to perform their ceremony.
What other services do you provide?
- As a licensed counselor, you can attend premarital and/or marriage counseling with me
- Renewal of Vows
- Baby Naming Ceremonies
- Memorial Services
How can I most easily reach you?
Because of my hectic schedule it is often easiest and most efficient to contact me via e-mail. Just CONTACT ME through my website. You can also call my voice-mail at 817.683.9920. Email is the best bet and will catch me more quickly than a telephone message.
How do you pronounce your last name?
Phonetically you might spell it "L a ven." If you can listen to wave (.wav) files on your computer just CLICK HERE to hear my voice and the pronunciation of my name.
What role does Gayle play?
My wife, Gayle, will sometimes fill in for me at rehearsals where scheduling conflicts arise.
Do you stay for the rehearsal dinner and/or reception?
I have been truly blessed and feel honored by the number of couples who are
selecting me to officiate their wedding. However, this has made it increasingly
difficult to attend rehearsal dinners and receptions. I'd love to attend if I
can...but I usually cannot.
Why do you do this?
I truly do this out of the love for helping couples who, without a church home, would not find a real minister willing to perform their ceremony. I believe it to be an honor when you ask me to be the person to preside over your very special moment.
Anything else?
I hope you will sign up for my free Relationship Success Newsletter. The newsletter will only be published once a month (typically the first Friday) so you'll not be inundated with mail from me. The newsletter will have relationship tips, book reviews, and schedules of upcoming relationship events. Enter your e mail address in the space provided below. Sign up now so you don't forget:-)
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